I'm sorry I can't forget your husband.
I guess it was excusable when I didn't know he was taken,
But even now knowing full well that my claim is forfeited,
He still owns my heart.
If I were a petulant child, I would shout the irrational thought in my mind.
"I saw him first."
As such should he then be rightfully mine?
I regret freeing his heart for you.
He should be mine.
It's illogical, irrational, borderline insane, but I still feel like he's mine in some way.
With the passing of years he wasn't able to forget me.
He made that known in his flirtation,
Betraying you by remembering me,
Those he called fond memories.
Yet no matter how sweet a memory I am,
His heart and name both belong to you.
Items I covet with fervor.
Items I long only were mine to possess.
Although you would have been pained by his words and his praise,
You still have the man and I have nothing.
I tried to convince myself that your marriage must be unhappy.
I tried to convince myself to preserve his memory
And to make a beast of you yourself,
But realization launched a dart in my heart today.
You must love him because he is just that type of man.
He made me love him even when I didn't want to.
I can't imagine how much harder he worked to win you.
And in the end even though he betrayed me, he didn't betray you,
Even though I think there was small part of him that wanted to.
I hope you give him everything I couldn't.
I hope you love him your entire life
With a passion and intensity that overcomes everything.
I hope you give him the beautiful babies he once wanted from me.
I hope you give him everything he still deserves.
He didn't betray you, he betrayed me.