How do you know when its Real Love

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"How do you know when its Real Love"
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"The heart has its reasons which reason does not understand"

At some point in our lives, whether early in childhood or late in adulthood, we develop feelings for someone, which starts a relationship, and sometimes these relationships fail. Because a relationship fails, it does not mean that you are a bad person, it just means that you and this particular person are not compatible. It does not mean that you cannot find love with someone else.

After watching movies like, Sleepless in Seattle, Premonition, and Bridges of Madison County, some of us, if we have never felt that "real thing," that "magic," we tend to yearn for it and will even imagine it. Sometimes we go on the hunt for it or just hang on to the first sight of it and can be extremely blinded by everything else.

As a young girl, I remember my grandmother telling me a story that will stay with me for the rest of my life. My grandmother passed away about three years ago to the day and I tend to remember this story every year around this time.

The story was about a young woman who married a gentleman and thought she had the perfect family. She lived for them and did everything she could to maintain their household in the best way that she could. She was a good wife and mother and was proud of her family. One day her husband introduced her to a co-worker, which gave her an eerie feeling. For some reason she felt as if she had met this man before.

For weeks, she was unable to get this man out of her mind no matter what she did. She refused to believe that she had a crush on someone other than her husband. That was insane to her. How can this happen and why couldn't she stop thinking about him. For years, she thought about this man in a friendly, innocent way.

Her family finally moved away to another city and unfortunately, her marriage did not work out. During the rough patches, she dreamt about this man, holding her hands through it all. In fact, she felt as if it was his strength and the look on his face that brought her through the most devastating times of her life.

For every unhappy time that she endured, he was therein her heart. He was her strength, her light and the only thing that she held on to because in her heart she felt that one day, their souls would meet each other. She knew in her heart that they were going to be together one day. How and why she did not know.

Her infatuations of him became so intense and she started to search for him. He was a high profile, very important person therefore it was not very hard to find him. She deliberated on how she would present herself to him but could never find a good reason or a good topic of conversation. She did not know how to just tell him how she felt in fear of rejection. How do you speak to someone after twenty years just to tell him or her that you have feeling for him or her?

She had not seen this man for almost twenty years but some how had feelings for him that were unexplainable. These feelings she had wished away in past years because she could not understand them. Is there such a thing as destiny? What is the connection that she had with him? She could not understand it and tried everything to get rid of it.

She tried sending him a letter but that is not something you tell someone in a letter. They might think you are crazy, especially if you have not spoken to them in a long time. Her feelings weighed heavily on her until it got to the point of no return. It was time for her to do something about it or stop thinking about it forever.

At this point, she did not know what to do. What she also did not know is that this man had never been married. He too, had been plagued by the same feelings for over twenty years. According to him, he had not been able to get her out of his mind and has not been able to form any relationships because of the one he has held on to in his heart. He had kept up with her life and knew that she was married and he never said a word, in fear of destroying her marriage. He loved her that much.

According to him, from the first day he laid eyes on her, he has loved her. He still remembers the look on her face and the touch of her hands when they greeted each other twenty years ago. In his heart, he kept his love for her alive because he too was afraid of rejection. In his mind, he would prefer to not tell her and keep her in his heart than to tell her and have her reject him. For him, that would be the wound that might end his entire being.

At this point in her life, she had failed at all other relationships and has finally decided that she must know. She devised a plan that was so very flawed, but the plan was to show up at a function that he was attending and bump into him. She did not even know whether he would remember her or not but she was willing to take the chance, at least about seventy-five percent willing.

With sweaty palms and every insecure limb in her body, she ventured to meet the "man of her dreams." As she walked in to the room, her heart pounding, she looked up at the podium and there he was. It was as if her feet instantly became glued to the floor because she could not move, she could not hear anything around her, and the only thing she could see was his face and himher face.

Hurriedly, he stepped off the podium and walked toward her. Her eyes became filled with tears and she was so embarrassed. There were no words available, she was speechless. He walked up to her, gave her a hug, told her it was great to see her, and asked her what was wrongwhy she was crying.

It took him all of about twenty seconds to realize what she was trying to tell him and without hesitation, he kissed her tears away and whispered in her ear."me too."

My grandmother never told me what happened after that but I guess the moral of the story was that sometimes you have to take risks because you will never know if you do not try. Not saying that this is something that happens every day because there are people who have crushes on people that do not feel the same way about them. That is something that we cannot change because you cannot make someone love you. But also remember that there is a reason for everything and when one door closes, another one opens. There is someone for everyone and even when you find that person, you will have to work very hard to make it work. Love is not easy; it is the most perfect thing that you can own, but the hardest thing to keep.

In essence, to me, this is real love and this is something I believe can happen.

More about this author: Bj Binning

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